There it is, Herb. One verse and two choruses.
- Is this a good song, Eddie? - It's a good song, Herb.
- It's as good as the doll-dance number. - All right.
Skip the verse, do the chorus, tempo.
Hot, eh?
- Good morning. - Hello, Jimmy.
I've got the hottest song you ever heard in your life.
- Is that so? - Yes, that's so.
Got it? Have you got it?
Jimmy, if you can get this crowd to keep quiet, I'll sing it for you.
- How about a little harmony? - All right.
Listen, let's go through it. One and two.
The second chorus, a little jazz, a little pep.
Come on, I'll vamp until ready. Let's go.
Go on, Herb.
- That's it. - The chorus in F-sharp.
Hot dog!
Listen, kid, if we can get that number, we're a cinch for the Palace.
- Hello, girls. - Hello, Eddie.
Listen, Eddie, we'll take that song and smack it over for you.
Sure!
Oh, no. Not this song, babies. Zanfield's bought it for his new revue.
And the Mahoney Sisters are coming from the West to put it over for me.
Listen, Eddie, you're not gonna waste a swell number like that...
...on a smalltime sister act, are you?
Nix cracking, Rosie.
Half of that sister team is going to be the future Mrs. Eddie Kearns.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Eddie.
If you wanna be made overnight, just give us a crack at that number.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
No, no. Positively not.
I've gotta get back to the hotel. The girls are waiting for me.
Oh, but listen, if you want a song...
...see Georgie Cohan.
He writes good music too.
How about it, Jimmy?
Oh, I'll take that, thank you.
Gee, this is elegant, ain't it?
Tell you better when I get a peek at the beds.
Quiet. I told you to pack that cooking outfit in the trunk.
Yeah? Well, I'm taking no chances.
If we can't pay our bill and the hotel holds the trunks, we still eat.
And, baby, when you don't eat, you lose a lot of calories.
Calories? What are they?
Oh, acrobats, you big sap.
- Well, I never got fat on your cooking. - No?
You never got that complexion from the Greeks.
- Don't talk to me like... - lxnay, ixnay.
- Leave us plenty of towels too. - I did.
And I counted them.
How high can you count?
Well, everything's okay. Will there be anything else?
Yeah, food.
I think he may stall for a tip. Get to the window and give me the high sign.
Hank, I don't wanna do that. Don't be such a cheapskate.
Screw.
Say, did they run out of everything but dollar signs on this thing?
One coffee, one order of fried eggs. There's two in an order, ain't they?
- Yep. - And one order of rolls.
- Hank. - Yes?
Come look at the elegant view.
Oh, that will be all, thank you.
Cup of coffee, order of rolls, a couple of eggs.
It worked.
Oh, Queenie, New York.
The place we've dreamed and talked about.
- Ain't it swell? - Yeah.
But there's something about it that scares me, Hank.
Scares you? Well, there's nothing to be afraid of.
Well, it seems like we're taking an awful chance.
We were getting along so well out west.
Plenty of work, small jumps, a chance to save money.
And the act always went over big.
But here, nobody knows us.
Oh, I'm afraid.
Now don't lose your nerve, honey.
But we haven't got much money.
Oh, Hank, couldn't we go back, just for one more year?
Back to those opera houses and town halls?
Those cheap hotels and their lobby comics?
Cooking our own food...
...washing our own clothes and ironing them on mirrors.
Riding in those smelly day-coaches.
Going ragged all summer and then darn near freezing in the winter. And why?
Just to save money enough to get to New York and show our act.
Oh, honey.
With your looks and my ability...
I wouldn't steer you wrong.
Now don't worry.
You see that electric sign of the fellow in BVDs?
- Yeah. - Well, right there...
...they're gonna have the Mahoney Sisters.
- In BVDs? - Yes, in BVD...
Baby, they were plenty smart when they made you beautiful.
Come on, let's get cleaned up before Eddie gets here.
I'll run a tub for you.
The Mahoney Sisters in BVDs.
Hey, what are you singing?
The bubble song from Lux.
Will you join me?
No use of us both getting wet.
Will you wash mine?
I might as well. You never wash anything but your neck.
I not only wash them. I gotta pick them up.
Oh, Hank, I didn't think.
Oh, you never do.
Oh, don't strain yourself. I'll get them.
Oh, boy, this is going to be good.
Oh, I'll go.
Can you imagine my embarrassment?
Uncle Jed!
Hello, honey. How are you?
- Fine, and you? - Great.
- Gee, I'm glad to see you, Hank. - Oh, Queenie, hurry up. It's Uncle Jed!
Uncle Jed?
I'll be right out.
What a break for you.
- I'll be with you in just a minute. - All right, honey, but hurry.
What do you know, Uncle Jed?
I've got you booked for 30 weeks over at the Manley Time.
Nothing doing. We're in New York to stay.
Say, listen, girls...
...you know, I know this town better than you do. And there are more sisters...
...doing their acts over the lunch counters in New York than over the...
Than in the theaters.
You're just a crapehanger.
Maybe, but let me tell you...
...tell you, tell you, tell you...
What's the name of that record you're playing?
Say, listen, girls...
Yeah?
Well, what is it?
I love both you girls, and I want to see you get along.
Sure, Uncle Jed, we know that.
But we aren't leaving this town till we get a flash at Babe Ruth and Grant's Tomb.
- Oh, will you get that, Uncle Jed? - You bet.
Oh, girls, your break... Your break...
Your coffee's here.
Bring the toothbrush glass when you come.
- All right. - Will you have some coffee, Uncle Jed?
No, thanks. I just had my breakf... I just ate.
- Yeah? - Uncle Jed!
Queenie!
Gosh, what a big girl you are.
- And so beautiful. - Ain't she, though?
Well, I suppose you've decided to stay in New York.
Yeah, we're all set. But thanks for the offer, Uncle Jed.
That's all right. I'll keep it open for a few days.
- All right. - Goodbye.
- Oh, goodbye, Uncle Jed. - Lf you wanna see me, just call me up.
Yeah, all right. You're in the phone book?
You bet.
I think we're making an awful mistake not to take that work.
I know what I'm doing. We stand as big a chance as anybody else.
What did the Duncans have when they hit Times Square?
"My Patio."
Say, we've got more than the Duncans ever had.
Well, the Duncans are pretty good too.
Say, what'd we do to them on the Gus Sun Time?
We knocked them off their seats. Come in.
- Eddie! - Hank!
Oh, baby.
Let me have a good look at you.
- Gee, but it's good to see you. - Oh, boy, is it good to see you! Oh, gee!
That's my Queenie!
- Queenie? You don't mean to tell me it's... - Sure.
Queenie, all grown up and everything.
Ain't she? That sisterly kiss won't be so hard to take now.
I'll say it won't.
- Take it big. - I did.
You were a funny-looking thing the first time I saw you...
...with those gangly legs and freckles.
But you certainly turned out to be a beautiful girl.
Well, I'll go get some clothes on.
I'm just crazy about her, Eddie. She's so young and beautiful.
Of course she is.
Well, Hank, now that you're here, when are we going to get married?
Oh, not till we've put this act over. I'm gonna give Queenie a break.
Always doing something for somebody else.
No wonder I love you.
- I kind of got a weakness for you too. - Yeah?
Mrs. Eddie Kearns?
Sounds pretty good, doesn't it?
Swell, Eddie.
Yeah, and you can feature that anytime in the electric lights.
- Gee, still the same sweet kid, ain't you? - Why, certainly.
Hank, did you pack my new dress in the trunk?
I'll get it for you in a minute.
Come here, Queenie.
- Gee, I can't get over how she's changed. - Well, you sure look elegant, Eddie.
- Doesn't he, Hank? - He's an eyeful.
Three carats.
Platinum.
And here's the payoff. Look, but don't laugh.
Gold garters!
Oh, Eddie, I always knew you'd make good.
Yeah, and I ain't forgetting that you're the little girl that made me come to New York.
Remember when I wanted to quit and give the whole thing up...
...and you made me stick it out?
Well, now I'm gonna do something for you.
Zanfield's bought my new song, "The Broadway Melody."
And he's naming his revue after it.
- But I've already spoken to him about you. - You think we've got a chance?
Chance? Don't be silly. One word from me, and you're in.
- Queenie, ain't that great? - Sure, if it's true.
True? You don't know how I stand with Zanfield.
- Lf we're in, what do we do? - When do we start?
And how much do we get?
You're gonna sing my "Broadway Melody" with me.
The Mahoney Sisters and Eddie Kearns.
Yeah, Eddie Kearns and the Mahoney Sisters.
Well, how does it go?
How's it go? Now, listen, I sing a verse, and you come in on the chorus.
Then we do another chorus, and then go into a little dance.
- Give us an idea of the dance. - I'll give you an idea.
- Good? - Swell, Eddie, do it again.
Let's move back this table, kids. We'll do our dance.
All ready, girls?
Come on, now, let's go. There you are.
Queenie, why don't you look at my feet?
Look at her.
Attagirl!
You like that?
Don't do that.
Don't do that!
Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute!
- What's the matter with the left leg? - I've got a headache.
Go on, sit down, take a load off your mind.
- Don't talk to me like that. I don't feel well. - Listen, don't answer me back, understand?
Come here.
There's Eddie. Hello, hey!
Your rhythm is all wrong. Nothing like I showed you.
All right, now watch.
- Hello, Eddie. - Hello, how are you?
We had a tough time getting in! When do we show the act?
In a few minutes.
I haven't had a chance to talk to Zanfield yet.
- It's okay, ain't it? - We're in?
Sure, it's in the bank.
- Whatever I say goes. - Hey, Kearns!
Yes, sir?
We don't wanna take all afternoon to set one dance.
Yes, sir.
Maybe we'd better get undressed. Come on.
All right, Sam, let it go.
- Oh, George. - Wait a minute, hold it there. Hold it, Sam.
The sets are all ready for your okay, Mr. Zanfield.
That's just an idea of what it's gonna be.
I can see that. It's just an idea.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
But don't worry, I'll fix it.
- Okay on those sets. - Yes, sir.
Remind me to see that rehearsal in the morning. Make a note of that.
I'm having lunch at the Knickerbocker.
Oh, Mr. Zanfield, this material, I couldn't get it in the gold design, only in the silver.
- Isn't it lovely? - It's fine. Get it in the gold.
- Remember, I want that in the gold. - Yes, sir.
Oh, Mr. Zanfield, pardon me, will you take a look at the Mahoney Sisters right now?
- The Maloney Sisters? - No, the Mahoney Sisters.
- Who are they? I never heard of them. - It's the sister act I told you about.
- Where are they? - Right over there, across stage.
All right, wheel them in.
- Tell George I'll take a look at the act. - Thanks, Mr. Zanfield.
Well, kids, you all set? Got your music?
Well, go over there and tell him what you want.
The Baloney Sisters.
Give us the introduction pickup and some choruses. And swell to the finish.
- But you follow us. - Yes, ma'am.
Sam, looks like some carnival lost a good act.
I'm gonna lay that dame like a roll of linoleum.
- Hank, you can't pull that around here. - Hank, don't start anything now.
- Get her in the dressing room. - Sure. Now, come on. Get together.
- All set now? - Oh, wait a minute.
- Don't mind if I put this down? - No, ma'am.
I'll vamp till ready, and don't forget: We do things intimately.
- All set. - All set, fine. Babies, smack it over big.
You ain't got nothing to worry about. You're as good as in now.
- I'll go and see how the boss likes it. - All right.
Well, all right, shoot.
- Play it, will you? - Something wrong with the piano.
- Do I have to come over and play it for you? - Okay, go ahead.
What's the matter with them?
There's something wrong with the piano.
- Say, are you trying to crab our act? - No, I'm not.
- Well, will you play it then, hot or cold? - Well, go ahead then.
All right. All right, girls.
Mr. Zanfield's seen enough. He'll let you know. Come in next Friday.
- But he ain't seen the finish yet. - Yes. I know, all right. Line up, girls.
Oh, Mr. Zanfield, please give them a break. You haven't seen their act.
I saw enough.
I can use the blond, but that little cluck is out.
But don't you know it's tough to put comedy over on a bare stage?
They'll be all right at the performance. Give them another chance.
I know, Eddie.
Gee, kid, that's a tough break. Even if the act is a louse, he should've seen the finish.
It ain't a louse. It's a good act.
We stopped the show every performance we did for Jake Wells.
Yeah, the one I saw would stop a tank.
Say, you've been asking for trouble, and now you're gonna get it.
You great big peroxide-headed dizzy blond, you! What do you think of this act?
Hey, come here! Come here, girls!
Come here!
Let me at her, will you? Let me at her!
Next time I'll give you a facial instead of a scalp treatment.
- Yeah, and I'll fix you, you little peanut. - Let go of me!
- Oh, boy, I'll sock her... - Stop it, Hank, you're crabbing everything.
Go get your clothes on. I'll fix everything.
The big blond baboon! Why'd she pick on me? I didn't start any fight with her.
- Where's my music? - Here's your music.
- Well, where's my bag? - Now, be quiet. Be quiet, Hank!
Get in there. Straighten it out. Let's get smart, Sam. Where are you?
Don't let them throw you up in the air.
I'm not gonna waste all day at it. Give me a pickup and two choruses.
And let me tell you dames something: If I get ahold of her, I'll rip her wide open.
Flo, what was the trouble about?
- I was beside the piano, not doing a thing... - Wait a minute.
- I can't stand for quarreling. - I didn't start it.
Never mind who started it. Now run along and be a good little girl.
- Oh, all right. - And remember, no more quarreling.
- Excuse me, Mr. Zanfield. - Well?
I heard what you said about me.
Please, couldn't you use the both of us at the same salary?
I might. I think I can slip her in somewhere.
- Oh, thank you, Mr. Zanfield! - All right.
My sister is the business manager of the act.
You won't let on that it ain't the both of us you want, will you?
Of course not.
- You send her over, and I'll talk to her. - Oh, thank you!
All right.
Oh, Hank!
He can take his old show and put it where it'll do him the most good!
Don't act like that, Hank. He didn't see your act, that's all.
- He's a very busy man. - Oh, he's busy?
Well, so am I busy, with 30 weeks waiting for me.
- Now, don't get so excited over nothing. - Hank, quick!
Mr. Zanfield wants to see you.
- Oh, yeah? - On the level?
- Maybe we're in after all. - Sure!
Let me handle this. I can always take care of these things better with nobody around.
I'll talk to him.
All right, girls, we'll take this right from the beginning. Okay, Sam, let it go.
I heard what you said to Zanny.
- You won't let on to Hank, will you, Eddie? - Of course not.
Gee, that was wonderful of you, Queenie.
I could kiss you for that.
You mustn't do that, Eddie.
I guess I shouldn't.
I never realized you were...
Gee, you're the sweetest little girl I ever knew.
You mean next to Hank.
Yeah, sure.
You know, Hank's been everything in the world to me.
She's looked after me and worked for me, and fought for me, protected me.
I could never repay her for all her love and care.
Of course you love her, Queenie.
And you're gonna be everything that she wants you to be.
And I don't blame her for loving you.
Gee, but you're a cute kid.
And she loves you, Eddie.
I guess you and me are about all she ever thinks of.
Oh, I never wanna hurt her, Eddie. And I want her to be happy with you.
Why, Queenie, I'd rather lose my pipes so I couldn't sing...
...and go lame so I couldn't dance than to hurt Hank.
- Sure you would. So would I. - Can you imagine?
- We're in! Rehearsal in the morning! - That's great!
- I knew you'd put it over, Hank! - Oh, just leave it to me!
I ain't booked acts for 10 years and not know how to handle them!
- You bet you haven't! - You're both swell kids!
- And plenty smart! - And how!
- Gee, rehearsal in the morning! Ain't it great? - Yeah!
Come on. I got a lot of washing and ironing to do.
- You have? - I want you to look your best, honey.
But tell me, how did you put it over? What did you say to him?
I said to him, "Now, you listen here, Mr. Zanfield, this is a sister team.
And we splits up for nobody!"
And with that, he smiled as nice as you please...
...and said, "That's all right, Miss Maloney."
Can you imagine calling me Maloney? And everybody knows our name's Mahoney.
- Yeah, can you imagine that? - Imagine that.
"Maloney"!
Hey, come on and get those clothes on, will you?
- Hurry up! - Well, are we all set?
Yes, sir, everything ready to go when you say the word.
All right.
- Are you safe up there, Audrey? - Okay.
Yes, that's perfectly safe.
- You get the orchestra in the pit. - Yes, sir.
- Oh, Hagerty. - Yes?
- That looks very good. - I think it'll be very effective.
- So do I. - Yes, sir.
Can you imagine? Putting on all this makeup for just one show a day?
Oh, dear! I'm just shaky all over.
Queenie, will you stop? You're getting me nervous now.
It ain't a bit different than it was in Reading, PA.
And we're going over just as big.
- Oh, Hank, do you think so? - Why, it's cream in the can, baby.
- Are you decent, girls? - Yeah, come in.
Oh, Hank, get a load of this.
"Big mammoth appearance of the Mahoney Sisters on Broadway.
Zanfield saw them once, and they were in.
With appreciation and regards to our agent, Uncle Jed."
- Is that a pippin or not? - You care for that?
- Do I? - Hank, will you get Eddie out of here?
I'm nervous!
What's eating her?
Eddie, you gotta run along now. We're nervous.
I get you.
Now, Queenie, don't be nervous.
- Remember, this is your big opportunity. - Will you get out of here?
- Beat it, Eddie, will you? - Now, don't forget, a lot depends on this.
- Oh, get out! - Get out!
Stop, stop! Girls, girls!
- Be careful of my hats! - We gotta get down on the stage!
I don't care! I won't allow you to ruin them.
I told you they were too high and too wide.
Well, big woman, I design the costumes for the show...
...not the doors for the theater.
I know that. If you had, they'd have been done in lavender.
Pardon me, Mr. Zanfield, but the orchestra's killing my "Broadway Melody" number.
- Too much brass. They can't hear me. - Kearns, tell them to keep it down.
Thanks, Mr. Zanfield.
- All right, boys, I think we can go. - Yes, sir!
Hey, you!
When you get through with that noise, try and play my number.
Cut out the brass, and keep it very piano.
Are you back again?
Yes, and I'm telling you how I want my music played.
I've conducted opera. What do you know about music?
- Nothing. I only wrote it, that's all. - Then you have the best of me.
You don't have to listen.
I'll tell Zanny what a sap he was for buying it.
Maybe he'll get you to write the music for the show.
If I couldn't do better than this...
If you could, you wouldn't be waving a stick!
Electrician! A little more this way with that spotlight.
What are you trying to do, ruin my profile?
Your profile was ruined the day you were born.
That's a smart crack. Hit me with it and keep it here.
Hey, put that spotlight over here on this girl!
- He wants it over there. - But it goes over here.
That spotlight goes here. I can't sing without a spotlight.
Say, you couldn't sing if you had a searchlight.
- Did you get everything you wanted? - Pardon me, Mr. Zanfield.
Would you okay this bill for Miss William's second act?
What's the idea? Two grand for a coat worn for less than three minutes? I won't pay it!
But you said ermine.
You'll giggle yourself right out of here one day.
Yes, sir.
- It's a gorgeous garment, isn't it? - Isn't it gorgeous?
In fact, it's the gorgeous-est thing I have ever seen. You sweet little cutie!
- There you are. - Thank you, Mr. Zanfield.
- Come here, Unconscious. - Hello, boys.
Say, Joe LeBlanc saw the rehearsal, and he says there's a fortune in the show.
- Yes, sir! - We ought to know. We put it in.
- You think it's a good show then, Zanny? - It's just an oil well.
- Let's see your gusher. - Looks like a mine to me.
From all the gold-diggers you got in the troupe.
Any old time one of them can pry a nugget off of his ledge, they're going some!
Come on, Unconscious, put the load down.
Overture, girls. This is the "Broadway Melody" number.
Get out of here and hurry up.
Come on. Come on. Get out of here. Come on. Go on, get out.
Oh, there's the overture. Oh, where's my hat?
Where's my hat?
Oh, where's my hat?!
- Over there! - Over where?
- On the floor, under the clothes. - Oh, yes. The clothes carton.
Why didn't you say so in the first place? And make it snappy.
- Are you ready? - Yes.
Now, honey, remember: The dress rehearsal is tougher...
...than a first-night performance. So don't be nervous.
- I'm not nervous. - Neither am I.
No, it's over that shoulder. That's the idea.
More. With those beads.
That's it. That's better. That's the idea. In this...
All right! Out of the way. Clear the way.
Elgin, call a doctor.
Elgin! Call a doctor! Elgin!
What are we gonna do?
Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hold it!
That number's too slow. Cut out the Maloney Sisters.
- Cut out the whole first chorus? - Yes.
Why, has he cut us out altogether?
Ain't it awful, the way they cut out these big stars?
I'll get to you in a minute.
Listen here, Mr. Zanfield, you can't cut us out like that.
We've got equity contract.
Kearns, go into the dance on the first chorus and end it there.
One more cut for you, dearie, and you'll be holding a spear.
And one more crack from you, bimbo, and you'll be holding a lily.
Listen to me, Mr. Zanfield, we...
Keep quiet. Will you cut it out and give me a chance to do my number?
But he cut us out of the whole show. He can't do that.
Did you hear that, Mr. Zanfield? They're trying to drown me out.
- Are you trying to drown him out? - We're doing our best.
Mr. Zanfield, would you come backstage a moment? It's very important.
- All right. - Yes, sir.
What's the trouble now?
The other dame flopped. How about this one?
No, sir.
- Terrible. - What are we gonna do about her?
There he is now. I'm gonna give that guy an earful.
Where's that blond McGinty sister? Use her.
Mahoney's the name, and let me tell you something...
Excuse me, Mr. Zanfield. I'll get her up there.
You may not know it, but we've played some of the very best...
Listen, we want you on the prow of that boat.
Come on now. Let's get your clothes off.
But I don't want to take my clothes off.
No, that'll be all right.
But listen to me. I've never taken my clothes off in my life.
I know all about that. Come on.
- How've you got this thing hooked? - I don't know.
Over here.
Say, do I get that spot, or don't I?
That's tough. I missed him.
- How's everything going, Zanny? - Very smoothly. Very, very smoothly.
- That's fine. - Great.
Sit down with us.
Oh, Jules. Jules.
I like that number. That's a very good arrangement.
How do you do it? Where do you pick them?
I guess it's just a gift.
By the way, what's the name of that little beauty on the boat?
Ask her. It'll give you something to do.
- That's a great idea. - Come on, Unconscious.
Yes, sir.
- You were great, Mahoney. - I'll say you were.
- You'll be in a Rolls-Royce by Thursday. - Go on.
What a flock of Johns will be waiting at that stage door!
- Go on. You can't kid me. - I'm not kidding you.
I may be there myself.
- Oh, Queenie. - Go in and change.
Hank, did you see Queenie?
What's the matter, Hank? Aren't you happy?
Wasn't Queenie great? Aren't you proud of her?
Of course, Eddie. I'm glad to see her make good.
Oh, but gee, we ain't never had to get by on our legs before.
Oh, that don't mean nothing, Hank.
Those guys are not gonna pay 10 bucks to look at your face.
This is Broadway.
Yeah. Broad's way.
Now, run along and change. I'll get Queenie.
Attagirl.
Queenie, everybody is raving about you.
- Gee, but you're a beautiful kid. - I'm glad you like me, Eddie.
Like you? Oh, boy. When I got a peek at you up there on that boat...
- Isn't this the beautiful lady of the boat? - Yes.
- Kearns. They're waiting for you. - Yes, sir.
- I'm Jock Warriner. - How do you do?
- And this is Stew and Bay. - How do you do?
I bet them that the most beautiful girl in New York will have supper with us.
- You've got to help me win that bet. - What have I got to do with that?
- Well, you see, you're the girl. - Oh, no, I'm not.
- I guess we win that bet, Jock. - Now, wait a minute. Not yet.
- Hey, Unconscious, where you going? - I'm gonna get on that boat.
Come here, sap. You can't get on that. That's not a real boat.
Please. Please, won't you change your mind?
- I'm sorry, but really, I can't. - Oh, come on. Please do.
- No. Not tonight. - No?
- Come on. Slip us the 50. - Wait a minute. I haven't lost yet.
Oh, yeah...? Come here, Unconscious, come here.
You can't go up there, you'll get kicked out. It's a ladies' dressing room.
- Let's go on the boat. - On the boat. Get out of here.
Don't worry, Hank. They only cut one number.
We got a couple of others.
"Zanny saw them once, and they were in."
Zanny saw me once, and I was out.
Not altogether. And what of it?
Yeah, I know.
Do you think that's all I'll get to do, go on without any clothes on?
Not if I can help it. But you don't need to worry.
You got a lot more on when you ain't got anything...
...than most of the dames I've seen around here.
Well, I guess I'll go get undressed again.
Come in.
- Hello, kids. Are you all ready? - Yep. All ready.
Well, listen. Zanny is giving a big party at his apartment tonight.
- Let's go over. - Gee, that's great. Did he invite us?
Not exactly, but what's the difference? Ain't I the star of this troupe?
That guy threw me out of your song tonight.
I ain't gonna give him a chance to throw me out of a window.
Let's get a bowl of chop suey, and we'll rewrite the show.
If it'll write me back in the show, I'd go for a bowl of anything.
Well, you can get most anything out of a bowl of chop suey.
Oh, cutie!
Come on, Queenie.
You two run along.
I've got some things to do, and I'll join you later.
Why, what's the matter?
Well, I've... I've got an awful headache.
I'm sorry, honey. We'll go straight home if you'd rather.
Oh, no, Hank. You two run along. You'll have a lot of fun, anyway.
Come on, Queenie. We don't wanna go without you.
Get your hat. You'll feel better when you get out of here.
Oh, sure, honey, come on.
I can't go.
- You got a date with somebody, huh? - Of course not.
- Who, Queenie? You're crazy. - Crazy, am I?
You've got a date with that Jock Warriner, I'll bet.
- Well, and what if I have? - Well, I don't like it.
Oh, you can't go out with that bird.
I'll have to show you whether I can or not.
Come in.
- Hello. - Oh, hello.
Well, here I am again. You can't get rid of me.
- I'll be right with you, Mr. Warriner. - All right.
Maybe you had better wait for me just a few minutes down on the stage.
- Shall I wait at the stage door? - Please.
- Now, don't be long. - No, I won't.
- Hurry. - I will.
Now, Queenie, don't act this way.
He ain't the right kind of a guy for you to go out with.
What difference does it make what kind of a guy he is?
I'm going out with him because I... Well, because I want to.
- Oh, no, you're not. - Oh, yes, I am.
You're not! You're gonna listen to me.
I can take care of myself. And you can both mind your own business.
Why don't you mind your sister? She knows best.
You keep out of this.
I've got my own life to live, and I'm gonna live it.
I'm not gonna be the third wheel to anybody's bicycle!
Oh, Queenie!
Oh, Eddie, what'll we do?
Why, she's never gone against my advice before.
Don't worry, Hank. She's only a kid. She'll snap out of it.
I guess the bright lights got under her skin.
Come on, let's go and get a bowl of chili.
Queenie!
- Oh, you didn't go. You didn't go! - I couldn't, Hank.
Oh, dear! I'm so glad.
Oh, they're elegant.
- Yeah. Where do I park them? - Wait a minute. Put them over there.
Good morning, beautiful lady.
Oh, you frightened me.
Good morning.
- Oh, they're elegant. Thanks. - Just a little birthday card.
Yes, well, they're lovely. You'll excuse me now?
You have some place to go, haven't you?
Are you putting me out?
What's the matter? Don't you like the flowers?
- Oh, they're beautiful. - They're not half so beautiful as you.
Any girl that can look beautiful so early in the morning...
That sounds like you know a lot about girls.
I do. I'm an expert.
- Much obliged for the compliment. - You're welcome.
Well, so long.
- Must I go? - Please do.
- And thank you for being so nice to me. - Not half so nice as I'd like to be.
I'm arranging a little party tonight for your birthday.
- A party for me? - Yes.
Come in. But you mustn't do that.
- But why not? - Because I don't want you to.
That's silly. Everything's arranged. You must come.
Please don't. Hello, Eddie.
- Hello, Queenie. - Oh, hello.
- How are you? Where's Hank? - She's out.
Then I'm gonna wait right here till she gets back.
Well, it looks as if I'd better take the air.
I'll give you a ring a little later, shall I?
Fine.
- Goodbye. - Goodbye.
And thank you again for the flowers.
Well, I've got my suspicions about any guy that kisses a girl's hand.
- What do you mean? - He'll give you a ring later.
He'll give you a ring. On the telephone, but not here.
What are you burned up about?
- He hasn't done anything to you. - No.
- And what's more, he ain't going to. - Sit down and cool off.
Hank'll be here in a minute, and you can start raving to her.
Oh, Eddie, don't be such a crab.
Why do you let a guy like that hang around you?
Say, will you lay off him? I'm sick of hearing you crab all the time.
- I'll give him a sock in the nose. - You and how many others?
I don't need any others. I can do it all by myself.
What do you think of that?
I know. But you haven't anything to do in the show.
I can team you up with this blond and still book you as the Mahoney Sisters.
Nope. I've gotta stick around and keep an eye on Queenie.
Queenie? What has she been doing?
She's changed, Uncle Jed. She don't tell me things anymore.
Night after night, she's out with Jock Warriner.
If it wasn't for Queenie, I'd be the happiest girl in the world.
With Eddie?
Now, now listen, Hank.
Why don't you give Eddie a break and marry him?
- Maybe I will. - Maybe.
Maybe that's just what Queenie needs:
- To see you and Eddie happy. - Do you think so?
It's exactly what I've been trying to... Sure!
Queenie, I didn't mean to get all burned up about Jock Warriner.
Queenie, I couldn't sleep at all last night, thinking of you.
On the level.
Queenie.
I wrote it for you.
I wrote it about you.
It's you. Don't you know what I mean?
No, no. Hank.
Aw, Queenie, l...
You keep your thoughts to yourself about Jock. I like him.
Queenie, don't be so mean to Eddie.
You two both better lay off me from now on.
I'm darn sick of being nagged.
She's just the same with me, Eddie, every time I mention his name.
But look it.
"Happy birthday, Queenie." That's great, Hank.
And wait till you see what's coming up.
It's my old ring. I had it reset for her.
She's always wanted a diamond, and it's real platinum too.
- That's pretty, Hank. - I've invited the whole gang tonight.
There's Uncle Jed and the stage manager...
...and Faye Fanchett and the Flying Fools.
I'm gonna give her the swellest party she ever had.
Oh, Eddie, I love her so.
You sure are regular, Hank.
Jock Warriner.
I wanna talk to her alone, Eddie.
I'll see you later at the theater tonight.
All right, Hank.
Goodbye, Hank.
Oh, Queenie.
- You see, it's very simple. - Rolling his own.
That's it. Now, watch this one.
Boy, if you could do that with my wife.
Say, give us something good, something new.
Say, can you pull a rabbit from that?
Hello, everybody.
- I brought the radio with me. - Joe, what have you got there?
- Gee, I can get Chicago with that. - Chicago? Why, that's nothing.
- I got Scotland last night. - How do you know you got Scotland?
Why, I heard the guy singing "The Best Things in Life Are Free."
Take this cake in the other room, and when you hear us yell "surprise"...
...bring it back lighted. Now, don't forget.
Hey, give me a few of those things. Give me a few of them.
Someone's coming. Are you all set?
Quiet, quiet.
Surprise!
Surprise! Surprise!
- Well, where's Queenie? - Yeah, where's Queenie?
Why, there was another party, and I forgot to tell her about this one.
I thought she'd have more fun there. I'm sorry.
Jock Warriner, huh.
Say, listen, I've got an idea.
Let's give the party...
- For Hank. - Great!
Wait a minute, folks. Just a second.
Take all the things down to my room. We'll hold our party there.
Hank doesn't feel very well.
Well, all right, we'll go down to your room.
Good night. I hope you feel better.
Look, Hank, I'm awfully sorry.
- I'm sorry, Hank. - I left a present for you.
- I hope you're feeling better, Hank. - We'll see you tomorrow.
You see what you're missing?
Why don't you have a little drink? It might buck you up.
- Good night, Hankie. - Good night, Uncle Jed.
Good night, dear.
Hey, Eddie. Ain't you coming down?
You run along, Jed. I've got to tell Hank something.
- I'll see you in a little while. - Sure.
But don't make it too long. You know that bottle won't last very long.
Queenie and me have always been on the level.
And now I'm fronting for her.
Won't you please give her all the best of the breaks?
What's the matter, Hank?
I lost something.
Oh, Eddie. At least I've still got you.
That's one break.
Goodbye, baby.
Happy birthday.
Queenie, aren't you having a good time?
I'm having a marvelous time, Mr. Warriner.
Now don't call me Mr. Warriner.
Call me Jock, won't you?
All right.
Mr. Warriner.
- Wait a minute, everybody. Queenie. - Oh, I can't.
I want you to stand up here where everyone can see you.
- A toast! - A toast to Queenie!
A happy birthday to Queenie, the queen of New York's beautiful girls.
- Many happy returns! - Happy birthday!
I can't say anything but thanks, everybody. A lot.
Oh, it's a lovely surprise... Jock.
Oh, it's nothing at all. Will you dance now?
That cake is just elegant...
...but I can't eat it all.
Well, you eat as much as you can, and we'll save the rest.
Please, Mr. Warriner, ask them to play something else.
- I hate sentimental music. - All right.
"Broadway Melody."
Don't wear a frown on old Broadway.
Tell me...
...why don't you like that song?
I don't know.
Well, what do you like?
I like cake.
Won't you tell me that you like me a little?
Maybe.
You mean it?
Maybe.
Will you tell me why you're so nice to me?
Maybe.
Please, I wanna dance.
Oh, no, come on. Let's sit this one out.
But look, everybody's dancing, and the music is playing and everything.
Mr. Warriner. You don't mean this for me?
Why, of course.
Diamonds should only be worn by beautiful girls.
Oh, it's just adorable.
I'd like to do a lot of things for you, Queenie.
How would you like an apartment all your own?
Say, on Park Avenue.
And a car all your own.
Perhaps a Rolls-Royce. Oh, and a lot of nice things.
Well, I'd have to think about that.
Say, where have you been?
I've been looking all over the place for you.
You would come in at a time like this.
Certainly. Come on, little love boat.
Let's have this dance.
- Were you asleep, Hank? - No, honey.
Well, that's swell, because I wanna to tell you...
...about the grandest party that ever happened to me.
Look at that. Look at that. Did you ever see anything more beautiful in all your life?
No, sirree. Because that's class, that is.
And Eddie said he wouldn't even give me a ring.
What would I want with his ring?
There's more diamonds in a bracelet, ain't they? Ain't they?
Honey, I don't know what you're saying this for...
...but I know you don't mean it. You can't mean it.
- It ain't in you to mean it. - Sure I mean it.
Why shouldn't I mean it?
And that ain't all I'm gonna have, either.
I'm gonna have a Rolls-Royce.
And an apartment on Park Avenue.
And everything that goes with it. That's what I'm gonna have.
Now, honey, listen to me.
I know we ain't had the greatest break in the world since we hit New York.
But that's gonna change.
That's got to.
And you're gonna meet somebody that's right.
Somebody you can be proud of, who'll just be crazy about you.
Somebody who's really worthy of you.
Somebody like Eddie.
Yeah? Well, that's all right for you...
...but I ain't craving any hall-rooms...
...with some song-and-dance guy...
...who expects me to cook his meals over a gas-jet...
...listen to a lot of smart wisecracks and bum songs.
- No, sir. - Oh, Queenie.
Move over.
No more of these kind of dumps for mine.
I'm gonna have everything in the world I want.
That's me.
And you're gonna have Eddie.
Queenie, I don't want you to answer me like that again.
- Then keep your nose out of my business. - Well, your business is my business.
That package is from Warriner, ain't it?
- What if it is? - I won't let you keep it, that's all.
How are you gonna stop me?
Oh, Queenie, don't you see what I'm doing is for your own good?
And don't you see what I'm doing is for your...
Oh, what are you talking about? Now you listen to me.
You're not gonna go out with that guy, hear me?
I'll stop you if I have to tie you up to do it. You hear me?
Cut it out. Be quiet. They can hear you out front.
Well, you hear me. I'm going out with whoever I want...
...and I won't hear orders from anyone about it.
- Now get that and get it straight. - Queenie!
You ain't my boss. So mind your own business and shut up.
Oh, Queenie.
I won't shut up. And you're gonna listen to me.
I won't listen to you any more than I will to her. So you needn't get started.
- Getting near you, Kearns. - All right.
Hank, you run along. I'll talk to her.
Now, listen, Queenie. You're young yet, and you don't know things.
What Hank has been saying to you is for your own good.
Yeah, and I suppose what you're saying is for my own good too.
As far as that goes, yes, it is.
Whether you believe me or not, I'm saying this because l...
- Hank finished that. Got nowhere with it. - Well, I'm gonna get somewhere.
And whether you like me or hate me, you're gonna pay attention to me...
...because I'm... Well...
Me and Hank won't let you go out with that guy. He's no good.
- He wants girls who... - You never went out with girls...
...like he does. - Plenty, but none since I met you.
You and Hank...
Get me right, sweetie. I'm being on the level with you.
Here's your pants, sir.
- Hurry up, Kearns. - All right.
Oh, can't I say nothing that will make you see what I mean?
You're wasting time talking against Mr. Warriner, if that's what you mean.
Mr. Warriner. Do you know what they say about that guy?
I don't care what they say. They're jealous, that's all.
- You and the rest. - Me, jealous?
What are you so interested for?
What business is it of yours where I go and who I go with?
It's my business because...
Well, because it is.
Oh, you ought to know why I'm doing this.
- It's because l... - No, no, Eddie. Don't say it.
Oh, I gotta say it, Queenie. I can't stop from saying it now.
And you gotta hear it.
I love you, Queenie.
I love you, and you know it.
I can't help it. I tried, but I can't.
But it's easy to say now.
I love you, dear.
And I love you, Eddie. Never forget it.
- No matter what happens. - Do you, Queenie?
Yes, Eddie.
And that's why we can't...
Oh, don't you see now why...
Why what?
- I'm going out with Jock Warriner... - No, you're not.
Don't try to stop me, Eddie. It's the best way.
Here's your coat, sir.
- Lf you go out with that guy, I'll... - There's a stage wait, Kearns.
Let it wait. Queenie, I gotta go on now.
- Promise me you won't go out with him. - Are you trying to ruin the show?
- Promise me, Queenie. - Oh, I can't promise.
- Then you won't? - Well, then I won't.
I'll murder that guy. I'll tear him apart. Go on out with him. Go ahead.
Get on there, Kearns.
Queenie, you better be here when I get off.
- Get up to your dressing room. - All right.
Oh, Queenie. You ain't got no idea what you're doing.
Oh, yes, I have. Can't I have a little fun without you trying to stop me?
Oh, I ain't trying to stop you having fun...
...but this thing will turn out bad.
That guy don't mean to marry you. His kind don't never marry.
He ain't the type to take a girl out and buy her drinks...
...and let it go at that. You know that. And you know what the finish will be.
Now listen to me, Hank. Get this straight, once and for all.
I'm old enough to know what I'm gonna do.
And I don't want no more cracks from you and Mr. Wise-Guy Kearns about it either.
You can go your way, and I'll go mine.
What I'm saying's for your own good.
- Tell it to somebody you don't know. - I ain't gonna let you get away with it.
- Give me that. That's mine. - It's not yours...
- Well, it is mine, and you will give it... - No, I won't.
You will give it to me.
Queenie.
Queenie, you mustn't go. Queenie, you can't go.
Eddie, stop her. Do something, will you?
- Queenie, just a moment, Queenie. - Get your hands off me.
You're not gonna leave except with me and Hank.
- You get out of my way. - You heard what I said.
You can't get away with it. I'll kill that guy just as sure as anything.
I'll make him suffer the way he's making me suffer.
Shut up!
- I'm going. - You can't go, Queenie.
Gonna stay right here. No.
Let go of me.
I've heard all I'm gonna hear from either of you. You've said enough.
- I'd like to see you kill anybody. - Queenie.
You dirty, cheap little songwriter, you.
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!
Queenie, Queenie!
- Say, what kind of a sap are you, anyway? - What do you mean?
You gonna let a john like that steal her from you because he's got a little more jack?
Well, if you do, all I can say is you're a rotten quitter.
You love her, don't you?
Oh, don't lie to me. I know you do.
Say, if I loved a girl like you do Queenie...
...l'd fight for her. What's the matter with you? Where's your nerve?
- But, Hank, you don't... - Oh, don't pass the buck to me.
What do you think I've been meaning all along? I was on the level with this thing?
That I was in love with you? That's a hot one.
I just been playing you for all I could get out of you for the act.
- You been kidding me all the time? - Sure, I been kidding you.
Say, I wouldn't marry you if you was the last man on earth.
And at that, I ain't so sure you're the right guy for her.
You're a coward.
You're afraid of Jock Warriner, or you'd go out and fight for her.
- But you're just yellow. - You think I'm yellow?
- Sure, you're yellow. - I'll show you how much I'm yellow.
You're yellow. You hear me? You're yellow.
- I'm yellow? - Yes, you are. You're yellow!
You're yellow. Do you hear me?
Oh, Eddie, you're not yellow.
You're white.
Murray Hill-8400. Yes, please.
Hello.
Hello, Uncle Jed?
It's Hank.
Say, I've decided to take those 30 weeks.
You can team me up with that blond.
I'm breathless.
Oh, I don't know what to say. It's wonderful.
Oh, I can't thank you enough.
It's not half good enough for you.
I want you to have everything in the world.
Thank you.
- Hello, Eddie. - Where's Queenie?
I want you to meet my girlfriend.
- Come on, let's go back to the party. - Oh, Queenie, not yet.
Why, I haven't had you to myself for a moment tonight.
Oh, but I'd rather go back, please.
Wait, Queenie.
I have so many things I want to tell you alone.
Oh, well, you can tell me out there.
Wait a minute, Queenie.
I've done all these things for you. Aren't you going to be nice to me?
- Oh, Jock, let me go. - Why should I let you go?
- Please let me go, please. - No, I won't let you go.
You're going to stay right here with me.
- No, I'm not gonna stay here with you. - Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not. - I will keep you here.
You won't keep me here, do you hear me? You won't.
- Let me go. - I won't let you go.
I won't stay with you another minute.
- Let me go. - I told you not to come here.
- Why did you come? - Oh, Eddie, take me away.
What do you mean coming in here? Get out.
- I won't before I'm finished with you. - Oh, Eddie, let's go.
- I've been looking for you. - Now that you've found me...
...what do you want? - I'll show you what I want.
Oh, Eddie.
What's the matter?
Oh, darling, let me see you.
Oh, Eddie. Have they hurt you, sweetheart?
Have they?
You just hit him again if you dare. Just try it, that's all.
- Eddie, let me see you. - Queenie, Queenie.
You don't realize what you're doing.
You let me go. And you can take your jewelry and your presents...
...and everything. I don't want anything to do with you.
Let me get a sock at that guy.
- No, Eddie don't... - Let me get at him, just let me get at him.
- I wanna get at that guy. - Throw him out.
- Out he goes. - No, don't.
Don't let them. They're going to kill him.
Oh, Eddie. Don't you do that to him.
And stay out.
What do you know about that guy?
Got rid of that guy anyhow.
Oh, Eddie. Eddie, dear.
You dirty bums, you.
- Oh, Eddie, have they hurt you? - What do you think?
- Oh, I'm sorry. - I'll bet you are.
I am.
I don't know why you feel sorry for anybody like me.
I'm no good.
I can't even scrap a little.
I let a heel like that take a sock at me and get away with it.
Well, Eddie, he's bigger than you are.
- Yeah, a little bigger. - And he's awfully strong.
I suppose you found that out from his hugs.
Well, if you couldn't stop them from throwing you out...
...how could I stop him from hugging me?
Well, there's something in that. I guess you'd better go home.
Oh, Eddie, aren't you gonna take me home?
- I'll take you home. - Don't you like me anymore?
Like you? Why, Queenie, l...
Oh, what is it? They've hurt you, I know they have.
Oh, I'm all right, Queenie. Come on, let's go.
Now understand, it took six of them to throw me out.
Yes, Eddie.
Oh, what is it?
Oh, they'll be here any minute.
What does it...? What does it...? Read it.
"Arriving 2:30, wonderful honeymoon. See you the minute we get in.
Love to our Hank, Queenie and Eddie." Oh, I'm so excited. What time is it?
- 12:00 last night. - It's what?
Well, what's the matter with this thing?
See who that is.
- Hello, Jed. - Hank!
Oh, gee.
- Hello, Eddie. - Hello, Hank.
Oh, come here.
Well, well, Queenie. Congratu...
- How are you? - Oh, fine, Uncle Jed. How are you?
Oh, I'm great. What's it going to be in the electric lights this time?
Queenie Kearns and Company?
No, sirree.
I'm only gonna be connected with the stage by marriage.
Oh, Hank, we found the cutest little home down on Long Island.
- Yeah? - Where Eddie can work.
And say, when you're finished with this tour, you're coming to live with us.
Oh, nothing doing. Hotels for mine, where I can get service.
- I'd be all out of step in a real home. - What do you mean?
- You're coming to live with us, all right. - I should say she is.
Just like a trouper. Troupers are all tramps.
Here today and gone tomorrow.
No home, no nothing.
Hank, you're just a born trouper.
Doggone this weather. It certainly is tough on colds, isn't it?
Well, say, I want Queenie and Eddie to see the act.
Say, where is that blond, anyway?
I don't know. She's always late.
Hank, you're a sight for sore eyes.
- Hello, Uncle Jed. - Oh, hello, Flo.
- You know everybody, don't you? - Hello, darling.
- Oh, Eddie. - Hello, Flo.
Oh, Eddie, tell me, did you have a good time on your honeymoon?
Yeah, great.
Oh, Eddie, when you open your new show...
...gonna give me a job, aren't you? - Why, certainly.
Oh, you're grand.
Say, come on, stupid. Let's run through the act for them.
Okay.
But, say, you know something? She's a born trouper.
We're gonna break in the act and bring it to New York.
- That's great. - Say, step on it, will you?
- I've got a matinee. - Sure.
I want two choruses...
...and you follow us, not us you. - Come on, Flo.
Say, listen. There's gonna be no part in your show for that dame, get me?
Of course not, honey.
It's kind of rough yet, but don't you say it's pretty good for an opening?
You know, if you don't hurry, you're gonna miss that train.
- Oh, the train. - Sure, the train.
Oh, Hank. Hank, can I help you?
Yes, you could hold my coat for me. I forgot all about the thing.
Oh, Hank.
That's all right, Queenie.
- Goodbye, Eddie. - Goodbye, Hank.
Oh, you'll write to me soon, won't you?
Yeah, I'll write you from Peoria. Now, where's my hat? Where's my hat?
- Oh, where's my hat! - Here's your hat.
Here. Here. Here's your valise.
- All right. Bring it, Uncle Jed. Come on. - It's pretty heavy.
- Goodbye, Hank. - Goodbye, Hank.
- Don't forget to write. Goodbye.
Oh, don't cry, dear. Hank won't be gone long.
The season will be over before you know it, and she'll be back here with us.
It ain't that, honey.
But it seems like Hank ain't never had a real break.
And I guess I haven't done much to make her any happier.
I wouldn't feel that way about it, dear.
Hank'll be much happier back on the road. Why, she couldn't give it up.
It's her life. She couldn't live without it.
And now that she knows you're taken care of...
Don't cry, honey.
People can't help falling in love.
It comes to you no matter what you do.
And I love you, dear.
Oh, and I love you, Eddie.
You were just meant for me.
Opening in Peoria.
Four shows a day.
Zanny said he'd make me a star in six months.
Say, listen, it's better to star in...
In Oshkosh than to starve on Broadway.
That's a bunk.
Say, now you listen to me, stupid. I'll handle things.
Yes, and I'll have you back on Broadway and in the Palace in less than six months.
- No fooling? - Why, it's cream in the can, baby.
Sure, it's...
It's... It's in the can.
[ENGLISH]